SBI framing
Opening lines—use these word-for-word:
“Can I share some feedback about how we communicate in meetings? I’m raising it because I value your contributions and want to make sure they’re landing as effectively as possible.”
Situation:
“In several recent team meetings, including [specific meeting] on [date], I noticed this happening during group discussions.”
Behavior:
“You began speaking before others had finished their point, and in a few cases continued speaking when they tried to finish. I’ve observed this more than once, and two teammates have also mentioned experiencing it.”
Impact:
“The result is that people can lose their train of thought or stop contributing. It can also make the discussion feel less balanced, even though I don’t think that’s your intention. I wanted to tell you directly because you may not be aware it’s happening.”
“Does that match your experience, or do you see it differently?”
What not to say—and why
“You always interrupt people.”
“Always” is likely inaccurate and invites debate about exceptions rather than the pattern.“You’re rude/dominating/aggressive.”
These are character judgments, not observable behaviors, and can trigger defensiveness.“Everyone thinks you interrupt too much.”
This creates a sense of group criticism and breaches trust. Say that two teammates raised the issue without naming them unless they agreed to be identified.“People are afraid to speak because of you.”
This assumes others’ emotions and overstates the impact unless someone explicitly said this and consented to attribution.“You need to talk less.”
The goal is not less participation; it is better turn-taking and space for others.“Calm down” or “Don’t be so intense.”
These phrases are vague, personal, and potentially biased. Stay focused on interrupting.“I know you don’t mean to, but…”
You cannot know their intent. Better: “I don’t think tha